I hate to break it to you but this is not an inspirational post. This is not about how I overcame my weight issues and became fit.
On the contrary, this is the very first time I admit that I’m not just slightly overweight, but I am an obese person.
And as trivial as this confession seems to be, it’s been hard for me to admit to myself first and foremost but also to my family and friends – since whenever I’m asked if I’m gaining weight, my answer always is: “no, same old same old”.
Well, that’s obviously a lie because I’m at my highest weight at the moment and lowest levels of energy. I would like to think that this is not entirely my fault because I have been trying my best to exercise regularly, eat in a healthy manner for quite some time now (at least for the past ten years).
My mother would say that a big part of it is due to my lack of determination, in addition to some minor health issues. Yes, maybe she’s right, maybe it is the case. But what I believe is that I ran out patience and lost all hope.
I know that this is not the biggest of issues, there more important things than looks and appearances but that’s not just it.
A lot of people laugh when I tell them that, but in my head, my self-image is thin and fit.
To be honest, I don’t give my weight much thought until I leave the house. And despite how many times I tell myself that I shouldn’t care what other people think, it’s just not possible to ignore people’s comments or stares. Even when the discussion is not about me, whenever the “weight” subject is mentioned, I cannot help but feel judged.
I think my least favorite moment is running into people I haven’t seen in a while because it’s usually the first thing they notice or mention:
“Oh, you’ve gained weight!” Yes, thank you, Mr. Obvious! Now that you have mentioned it and expressed yourself, I became well aware of my state.
Anyway, I’m not here to preach about people or rant or even complain really. This is just a reminder that I cannot lie to myself anymore.
I cannot pretend that I’m not bothered by my situation because as soon as this text is published, I will have to face the actual truth.
So this will count as the day I finally admitted that I am in fact fat.
I am fat and I don’t want to wake up one day, stand on the scale, weight 200 Kg and realize that it’s too late.