A Sunny Sunday in Sunnyside

It was a sunny Sunday in Sunnyside.
It was the first sunny day in ages. Coldest winter in twenty years.
Sun was shinning. Clear blue skies.
It was such a perfect day.

Well, almost.

Almost because there was a funeral in Sunnyside that sunny day. But the world wasn’t affected at all. It was happy.

She stood there staring at the happy world. She stood there staring at the sun. It was almost mocking her. But she wouldn’t take it, not today. She looked away.

She looked around her: they were all in black, all of these people she’s never seen before. They were in black because you must wear dark colors in funerals. And yet here she was, in her blue jeans and her favorite beige scarf. Luckily she managed to find a decent black shirt and a jacket. Good thing she had a pair of black boots.

She observed these people in black but couldn’t focus on their faces. The sun was blocking her view. She was sure it was just there to provoke her. But she wouldn’t take it.

No sir, not today.

She turned, stared right at it and stuck her tongue out.

What a mature person I’m turning into. My parents would be so proud, she thought.

“Lauren!”

Right on queue.

She walked away from the sun and stood next to her grandparents. Both in tears.
She stood next to them silently. Head down. Crossed arms. These situations were way too awkward for her to handle. Silence was the best policy.

She looked at the devastated faces in front of her. Fools. She was a fool once. She grew up thinking that family was the most important thing, that her parents were the best.
She spent all of her time with them and couldn’t care less about making friends outside of the family circle. She had the perfect family anyway. The family everyone wished for.

She was a fool then, but not anymore. She grew and started to notice things. She began to understand adults, their lies and their betrayals. She figured their secrets, their plans and their priorities. Her world started to fall apart. She didn’t want to be a part of it anymore.

She experienced anger, sadness sometimes hate. She couldn’t stand it. She no longer wanted to stay there, no longer wanted to be a part of this, no longer wanted to live another day by their side. This was no perfect family. This was no perfect life. Her world was shattered. She wanted to run away but kept postponing.

She was scared and thought she couldn’t manage living without them. She barely knew how to speak up. She barely knew how to survive. So she always stayed, despite the regular fights, the hurtful comments, the lack of freedom but she didn’t mind that much, it was nothing she couldn’t handle.

Until that year. An unbearable year where the load was too heavy to carry. She learned to keep her distance, stayed quiet. But whenever she was approached, she would snap and get mad. And it kept happening. For months. Fights. Arguments. Yelling. Screaming.

She knew she lost control over herself but it was expected. She couldn’t ease her pain anymore, she wanted to fight, argue, yell and scream. Things would be quite without her.  She was ready at that moment. She was ready to leave.

But she didn’t have to. Because came that day. A gloomy Saturday morning in Sunnyside. There was a gun shot then another. That hunting rifle had a purpose after all.

Things will be quite in this house. She just wanted peace and she got it. She was going to find herself. She was going to enjoy her teenage years. She was going to live a normal life. “Normal” she laughed. Nothing will ever be normal.

But at least, she was going to get away. A more importantly, she was going to rest. Finally.

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